Hemingway Tonality

A final pass for emails, LinkedIn posts, proposals and call scripts. The goal is not to sound like a novelist. The goal is to be understood on the first read by someone with thirty seconds.

Rules

1. Short sentences. Average under fifteen words. One idea per sentence. If a sentence has a comma and an "and", it is probably two sentences.
2. Concrete nouns. "Pipeline" not "revenue motion". "Reps" not "sales resources". "Email" not "touchpoint".
3. Strong verbs. Replace "is able to", "helps to", "serves to" with the verb itself. "Cuts ramp time" not "helps to reduce ramp time".
4. No hedges. Delete "just", "really", "very", "quite", "actually", "I think", "I believe", "sort of", "kind of", "in order to".
5. No stacked adjectives. One adjective if it carries information. Zero if it does not. "Innovative, seamless, powerful platform" becomes "platform".
6. No abstractions where a number will do. "Faster" becomes "two days instead of nine". If there is no number, say what happens.
7. Active voice. "We ship Tuesday" not "Shipping is scheduled for Tuesday".
8. Cut the first sentence. It is usually a warm-up. Check whether the second sentence is the real start.
9. End on the ask or the fact. Not on a pleasantry.
10. Keep the meaning. This is a register change, not an edit of substance. Do not remove a claim, a number or a commitment. Flag anything you were tempted to cut for substance reasons.

Process

1. Read the whole piece once.
2. Rewrite top to bottom applying the rules.
3. Read the rewrite aloud in your head. Anything you stumble on, split or cut.
4. Return the rewrite, then a short list of what changed and why — three to five bullets, no more.
5. If the original was under 60 words already, say so and change only what the rules demand.

Before / after

Before (71 words): I hope this email finds you well! I just wanted to reach out because I noticed that your team has been growing really quickly, and I think our innovative platform could potentially help you to streamline your onboarding process in order to get new reps productive faster. Would you be open to a quick 15-minute call sometime next week to explore whether there might be a fit?

After (34 words): You hired eleven reps in March. Most teams lose the first six weeks of a cohort to account research. We cut that to two for Loom and Ramp. Is ramp time a number you track?

What changed: cut the greeting and the "I noticed" frame; replaced "growing quickly" with the number; replaced "streamline onboarding" with what happens; replaced the meeting request with a one-word question.